My PEARL

At the time, the initiation of my decision was to keep another one safe - a little one - an innocent child; I had to keep her safe from the boundless sea of nothingness. It was her, she was my reason why. She is my pearl. 

Primal : Hypnotic + Slumber 

Little did I know, my dark of the soul was self initiated -a deeper soul calling if you will. My desire to search for answers for a life that was filled with joy, happiness, love, was just out of reach, only under the stars.  I could feel the beckoning call in my heart, soul, spirit and I could just for a moment, in a single breath get lost in the fantasy that life was good. Putting on a fake smile, wearing clothes to hide the marking left behind. I was lost in a dream. A nightmare. An illusion.  

There was a darker time in life, where I was lost in the darkness - not able to see any way out. I remember the day I decided to leave; and from that particular moment - I was plotting and planning my escape from the monster. It wasn't until I realized that in order to move forward I had to find the Will Power within me. It was a decision that would change everything, maybe even end my life in the process. However, I had to take the chance. The walls were closing in and I was melting away, only to find myself floating in a space of soulessly love.

Energy-Awakening: Breaking Free  

Going through a rebirth process is far from a wanderlust of creation, it is, in a sense, a transmutation of the soul power. Building, bubbling, shaking and knocking down the walls of the internal hell, finding its way through the creeps and crevices, like a snake slithering into a hole, ready and waiting to pounce on the everlasting prey, just to devour one more meal; a scavenger at heart. That is what the rebirth process feels like to me. Lost in a world of darkness, waiting for a glimmer of hope, a light to show the way.  

Radiant: Rebirth + Illumination 

It was not until I rediscovered that the magical essence of my own self enlightenment was the key to the way out.  I had the power of creation electrifying in my bloodstream, calling on my ancestors before me. Reaching out to the ones who were burned at the stake, hung in trees like branches, humiliated, silenced, suppressed - I called out for help - deep within my being and they heard my desire to be free. The wild woman was within me, and I was secretly slipping back into the empowered feminine spirit that I was meant to be. Free and wild. Magical and enchanting. I was finally able to feel the spark of life brewing in me, an elation of willingness to breakfree. 

Love: Magnetism + Embodiment 

I still remember the day the monster was conquered, surrendering to the freedom that I was silently demanding. In a way, it was his freedom too. What a relief, I can still feel the poetically sigh of oxygen releasing with the breath as it moved my body into safety. As I sat there holding my pearl in my hands, I gave her a sound hug of sweetness. For once, I was calm, relaxed and content. I was safe.

As the days went on, there was a depth of deprogramming process that my mind was equipped with too - reframing the hypnoticness of my slumber, finding my voice, cutting energetic ties, and rebirthing into a rooted self, illuminating my essence, and radiating that out in the world. The wisdom I have received from the process of transmutation of an inner working of my soul is holding the both ends of my existence. I am a warrior and a survivor. A revelation of the divine feminine spirit and I am one with her wilderness and a surrender of her submission. I am grace and fire.